Author Archives: D.R. Slaten

Being Asian Doesn’t Make Me ….

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More like white women. It does statistically mean I will fall more within their range than any other women of color. Asians are punished less, in schools and by police. It’s part of the cultural stereotype.

But it hides a far more insidious comparison, one that most people don’t even realize. And it revolves around Asian sexuality. Isn’t it funny how Asian men are seen as emasculated or feminine or some other way softer? Even though we have ninja movies, karate movies, we know about Genghis Khan, mobs like the Triad and the like, we don’t see Asian men as testosterone-laden threats. And it shows up in arrest numbers and incarceration numbers. Cops just don’t generally pull over clean cut Asian dudes. Not like the black guys that drive.

At the same time, Asian women are highly sexualized. And not in a good way. We are desired because we look like prepubescent boys for far longer than any other ethnicity. Men go to Asia not just to fuck and marry little girls, they’re are those that just want a woman who looks like little girl. The mount of human trafficking of Asian women is out of this world. It seems the entire world of men are obsessed with women who look like little girls. And my Asian sisters bear the brunt of this desire.

Don’t get me wrong, other ethnicities are sexualized as well. Think of the media’s portrayal of the lush, overblown Latina. Or the strong, loud black woman who will break you with her punanai. But there is an insidious sickness when male eyes turn toward Asian women, you know those of us who look like we’re twelve even when we’re thirty. Subservience isn’t just expected, it’s demanded. And having a child-like or a real  girl child as your sexual partner means you can treat them as children all the while fucking them to death. In many parts of the world, Asian girls are discarded as unwanted only to be swooped up by the predators who know just who to  tap. I’ve heard there are entire travel industries set up for Western men to go a pick up a young Asian girl, whether in fact or in looks.

And when we finally get a voice to stalk about some stuff, are we heard on our own? No, we get lumped in with the white girls. Now, I’m not dissing my light skinned sisters, but seriously? Do you even know what it’s like to not know math in a group of math overachievers? And I say that tongue in cheek. But you have no idea how many stereotypes I have to wade through each day just to get to my preferred endeavor with words.

I get why so many of my feminist brothers and sisters tend to lump us in with the white girls. In many ways, we escape the stigma of having darker colored skin. As we’ve seen recently, being black in America can be a dangerous thing. Asian women  and men generally escape this portion of the discrimination our country seems to want to mete out. But I gotta tell you, as Asian women, we only get the benefit of being lumped together with the white girls… until we don’t.

We’re largely ignored in the larger feminist dialogue. So we’ve become the invisible women wanting to know when it’ll be our time to shine, to have our fears voiced and our concerns addressed.

Kids vs. Adults

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Rehabilitation vs. Retribution

We’ve failed our kids. We’ve lied to them, too. And we’ve done it with hate in our hearts.

If there is one area where modern day lack of empathy meets the weakest amongst us, children as a group would be high on the list  and smack dab in the area that houses those who must rely on the goodwill of others. The protection of those stronger and more powerful than them. Kids. Little ones. And the not so little ones. The in-betweeners.

We’ve broken our social contract with the young people in our world. We promised to hold them to a lesser standard of behavior in return for limiting their freedoms in certain areas. We did this rationalizing that these kids weren’t mature enough to engage in activities usually reserved for adults. And in return, we promised, explicitly and implicitly, we would treat them as less culpable when they did mess up. Instead, we’ve limited their freedoms and then turned around and held them to adult standards of care. And it’s unconscionable. That means it’s fucking wrong. Not just a little wrong, but FUCKING wrong.

And they can’t even vote to change our rules.

At this point, I’m willing to lift all age-based restrictions across the board. Because we have already lifted age-based criminal and civl penalties.  As in, we don’t care if you’re a kid, we’re going to treat you like you’re an adult with adult minds and adult judgment and adult thought processes. We won’t make allowances for your immature brain, your actual age or any other factor that might determine you aren’t or shouldn’t be held as responsible as a 30 yr old adult.

So our kids get screwed. They can’t engage fully in our democracy and yet they bear the full brunt of the consequences of doing so, just like a regular adult would. Even though that adult had a say in the laws enacted in her community, even though that person participated fully in their democracy.

It’s time to end age based restrictions. Because we’ve become a blood-thritsty society unwilling to honor our social contract with our young ones, and unable to see the hypocrisy every time we ask juveniles to be tried to treated as adults.

Hypocrites, the lot of us.

And con’t get me started on all the ways we ensure our kids who do mess up are never full members of our society. We prevent them from getting into school with these draconian adult based sentences and punishments that follow them FOREVER. Yet, once your’e an adult and have your degrees and your career, you can smoke crack and hire prostitutes and bankrupt corporations and cause banking failures… you get to keep all that and can return once more to do it all over again.

We are eating our young ones. And the cannibalizing  needs to stop. Either put up or shut up. Either our kids are too young and too stupid to fully appreciate what they are doing- can’t drink, can’t smoke, what do you do…, or they aren’t and we need to lift age-based restrictions of all kinds. Because quite frankly, if we’re going to hold them to adult standards when they fuck up, we should be willing to let them enjoy all the good parts of those exact same adult standards.

Stop the hypocrisy.

Sabbaticals, Holidays and Days Away

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We’ve lost something. Our modern selves. We lost time for ourselves. For being. For breathing. Recharging. Rejuvenating and just plain refreshing ourselves.

The Europeans have something in their yearly holiday. A month long. It’s a length of time almost unheard of and certainly not contemplate-able to most Americans. It’s also the absolute minimum amount of time I think one needs to reset one’s mind and reintegrate back to our real selves. I want to say true self, but each of our selves are true. Only one is real at it’s core. And that’s the one who emerges when completely stress free and, paradoxically, the one who emerges when under tremendous street.

Don’t get me wrong, our short, frantic time away helps our brains, but not enough. Once a year, for mental health reasons and purposes, we need to unplug from the everyday and take the time feed our need for periodic periods of rest. It’s why we can’t survive without sleep in a much shorter time than we can live without food. Our brains must recharge. And we will die if we don’t get at least some form of rest everyday. In a much larger scale, this need is correlative on a yearly basis. And no we won’t die if we don’t get a month long vakay every year. But doesn’t a portion of us wither? Atrophy? Emaciate?

And most of us know this. We look with longing at those of our compatriots across the pond. While we shake our head not understanding how one can just get away for a whole month, we secretly wish it were us taking the leisure train straight to a hot beach. And now for the truly revolutionary… every decade or so, we should take half a year… at least.

I know, right?

Holy shit.  A half a year? Away from our everyday life? From the mundane? The routine?

Never. Impossible. Financially not feasible.

So not true. IF you plan a decade out, it can happen. If this became something we all did, it could be planned for in advance. Using that time to further our personal or professional goals would be fabulous. Finding something new to spark your passion and your mind would be even better. Stretching and reaching to become the person you were always meant to be. Paint, learn an instrument, travel, learn a new language, go back an get a degree or finish a degree, volunteer at home or abroad. The possibilities are endless.

All of this means you are a better person in your everyday life. Insights gleaned during these periods of discovery and rejuvenation can be incorporated into one’s life with really positive impact. Everybody you touch will be richer for it. Most especially yourself.

Things Readers SHOULD Ask Authors

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Look if you’re a reader, ask me anything. I don’t care. I want your questions. I want your insights. I want your responses. And I’ll respond back. If I don’t, it’s because I didn’t see it. Bring it to my attention. I love interaction. LOVE. It. Authors who don’t like to interact with readers are like dinosaurs. They’re gonna get extinct. Usually, by human action.

So, totally tongue-in-cheek. Because apparently, there are bitch writers out there. I’m a bitch. But not a bitch writer. Totally different, yo. So, totally tongue-in-cheek, here are 5 questions you SHOULD ask your (un)favorite author. 😉

1. Do you write naked? ‘Cause you laid some shit out in the book that maybe would’ve been better off covered. Author, cover they self so you can cover yourself in your work.

2. Did you steal that one great story idea, because all your other story ideas kinda suck?

3. You’ve never has sex have you? Because have you TRIED what you’ve written about? Only a total noob to fucking would write a sex scene like that.

4. You paid someone to publish your book, didn’t you?

5. Did your mom buy all those books that Amazon lists as sold?

Now, I know I’m going to get some shit for this. But seriously? Being polite costs nothing. Being a dick? Everything. Don’t be a dick!

Homemade Ice Cream

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I know I’m jumping the gun. I know that Spring isn’t even here yet. I know all of this. Still, I am craving ice cream. Cold and creamy served under delicious hot fudge, whip cream and nuts. Warm weather can’t get here soon enough. Until then, I’m cranking up the heat and eating ice cream pretending that it’s Summer already.

I use a recipe that is a cross between Alton Brown’s recipe and a Chowhound recipe. It’s a basic vanilla custard. It is fabulous on its own, or you can be adventurous and add other goodies as it mixes.

Homemade Ice Cream

6 egg yolks
2 cups half and half
1 cup cream
2/3 cup vanilla sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 vanilla bean

1. Prepare a water bath in a large bowl. Set aside.

2. In a saucepan, heat half & half with the cream and the vanilla bean pod denuded of its interior until it simmers. Take off heat and set aside.

3. Mix egg yolks until lighter in another bowl. Add in vanilla sugar and the scraped out insides of the vanilla bean. Mix well. Temper the eggs with some of the cream mixture until the eggs are brought up to the same temperature as the cream mixture. Pour it all into the saucepan. Heat over medium-lowish heat for about 2-3 minutes or until it coats the back of a spoon or it reaches 170 degrees.

4. Pour the mixture back through a fine mesh strainer into the egg/sugar bowl and put it all into the water bath. Bring the custard down to room temperature. About 30-45 minutes. Put it into the fridge uncovered until it no longer forms condensation. Then cover and let sit in fridge for 4-6 hours or overnight.

5. Put into ice cream maker and follows the instructions for the machine.

Enjoy!

Life Isn’t Sacred

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And it shouldn’t be. And most of you don’t believe it really is. You might give lip service to the notion, but deep in your heart of hearts you don’t really believe in the sacredness of human life. Not really.

If human life were sacred, and that belief held by the majority, there would be no war, no abortions, no death penalty, no free choice when it comes to life lengthening medical procedures, no ability to choose to die with dignity. None of that and so much more would not exist, much less be debated. But life isn’t held as sacred by most.

And as you can see, the logical conclusion of making such a belief a real life practice is ludicrous, and kinda sad. We would all be forced to chose life even when death is preferable, and not at all against our own personal system of beliefs. And in a democratic society allowing one groups morals and beliefs about life govern every member of that society leads to gross injustice and a caricature of what morals and ethics truly should be.

Think about this, if your group can impose their ideas and beliefs on everyone else, what’s going to stop another group, which may be anathema to you and your group, from doing the exact same thing. It could happen. It has happened. So stop fucking up the country. We need rules and laws that include as many people beliefs and ideals.

Look, I get you might have strongly held beliefs about the sanctity of life. I get that. So do I. And I don’t think that your idea of what my life should look like should be any more relevant than my idea of what your life should like. That is all. And by forcing these issues legally with huge press, you are irrevocably damaging our individual abilities to remain semi-autonomous in our democracy. Think about this, if you and your religious kooky, zany friends can impose your Christian virtues on the rest of us, what’s to stop the followers of Shiva from doing the same? Or the Satanic folks? Or <insert your most hated religion/ideology here>?

You and your friends are truly fucking up America for the rest of us. Leave us alone and in peace. If you don’t agree with gay marriage, don’t get gay married. If you don’t agree with abortion, don’t get an abortion. If you don’t agree with gender equality, then live YOUR life in inequity. Et. Cetera and et. cetera Get it? Don’t stop other people from doing some shit. Just stop YOURSELF. Otherwise, I get to tell you how to live. And I’m betting you won’t like it.

The first thing I’d do is get rid of home-schooling. Jaysus, just the thought of a discrete segment our population growing up unsocialized, unable to think critically and evaluate competent theories, and just plain uneducated (don’t scream- truly conscientious parent are rare) is fucking scary. I’d get rid of YOUR ability to chose this option. Period. It hurts our country to have stupid citizens. But see how we don’t do that? Even if we think it’s fucking stupid? There are so many things I’d impose on YOUR life. So. Many.

So today, as we think about Roe v. Wade, remember children city hall has to include satanic displays as well as the Nativity now because you freaks decided to push this issue and make it a legal mandate. So thanks a fucking lot. Stop doing that. Don’t do not one other thing in the name of your religion and beliefs. You are fucking shit up for the rest of us. And we are tired of it. Tired, I tell you. You don’t understand the long-term implications of what you are doing. Obviously. Otherwise, you would’ve seen the satanic displays coming.

So stop fucking shit up, Jesus freaks. Cause you might not like the next freaks to come after you. After you paved the way for the rest of the goddamn freaks to impose their beliefs on the rest of us. I know logical thinking hurts. Let the rest of us rational, reasonable people do the thinking for you, especially if you’ve been home-schooled–please, please, please–let the rest of us do the thinking.

Wizards of Winter: Part Deux

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I know, I know, I did this song last year. And I don’t like repeating songs. At all. But, this rendition is awesome. Last year, it was just one house that did the synchronized light display. This year, a WHOLE frickin’ block synchronized their lights to Wizards in Winter.

Yes, I know the song title is incorrect. Unfortunately, the uploader of the video titled the YouTube this way. The music is Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The coolest neighborhood in America is located in Yucaipa, California.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yvBtccWnp4

 

Foggy Bottom Split Pea Soup

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As Fall turns into Winter, all official like, on the solstice, many people around the world celebrate this turn of the season. I always think of it as one last hurrah before we hunker down for the colder months to come. One last feast of plenty in preparation of leaner times. Well, at least that’s how I think it used to be.

In the US, our Holiday Season begins with Thanksgiving and extends straight through to New Year’s Day. In a country of plenty, we’ve taken plenty to the nth degree straight into a month and a half of plenty. I want to muster some form of disgust at this blatant display of wealth and abundance but I can’t. I really can’t. Because the food is frickin’ delicious. Some part of me is just not able to flame the small amount of guilt at loving the food so much into a conflagration. I’m too distracted by the yummy. I like celebrating with food and friends and family and fellowship with all of the above. I like the convivial communal table that comes with such yummy goodness.

To assuage some of the feelings that not feeling bad makes me feel, I pay homage to principles of conservation. What the hell do I mean, you ask. Well, it really is all about the ham bone. Left-overs, yo. What the hell to do with the ham bone. Cause I know you saved it instead of being wasteful. If you thought ahead, you left lots of meat on the bone. Were going to use it to make split pea soup. So break out the Beano, or just go find a room in which to be alone.

Repurpose the Bone! 😉

Foggy Bottom Split Pea Soup

 

Ingredients:

1 medium onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 medium carrots, half-mooned
3 stalks celery, diced
1 Tbsp Herbes de Provence
Ham Bone- leave the meat on as it cooks
8 cups chicken/turkey stock (I make stock from the bones of the Thanksgiving turkey)
1 small bag green or yellow split peas
parsley
salt
pepper
optional: 3 medium diced red or yellow potatoes

Directions:

1. Over medium heat, cook onions until translucent. Add garlic, cook for a minute. *I like garlic in my split pea soup. Some people don’t. Omit if you want.* Add carrots and celery. *If you’re adding potatoes, do it here as well.* Cook for 3-5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add the Herbes de Provence. Cook for 2 minutes more.

2. Place Ham bone in the center of the pot. Sprinkle the peas around the bone. Cover with broth- use more or less depending on how big your pot is. Also, any stock not used can be added in later. Bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer and cover. Cook for 40-45 minutes, or until peas are tender.

3. Remove ham bone and set aside to cool slightly. Mash some of the peas with a big spoon, or blend half of it, or use a hand mixer and pulse a few times. Leave enough peas and veggies intact to not have the whole thing mushed. When bone is cool, remove meat. Either tear or chop ham and put back into the pot. Correct seasoning and liquid level. Serve with fresh parsley on top.

Racism, Prejudice and Privilege

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… in America.

Current events make people uncomfortable. Most want “this” to go away. From the segment of the population being oppressed, this view is not understandable. You can only want oppression and racism to go away if you aren’t confronted with it on a daily basis. Enter… privilege. Out of sight, out of mind never had so clear an example.

There is the belief that if we don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

But that’s a lie. As in a falsehood. We don’t see racism in America anymore because its gone underground. <— That statement is inflammatory to most. And these are good people. Decent people. Who are fucking horrified that allegations that racism in America still exists. Because in their world it doesn’t. But they’re confusing racism with prejudice. I will say this. America has really worked on not being prejudicial. But not being prejudicial doesn’t stamp out racism. It just means that most Americans aren’t assholes who think a persons color predestines them to a life of <insert your derogatory act here>.  What it doesn’t mean is that racism is gone.

The racism of today is the structures leftover from those before of of their hate. Like Pompeii, we are dealing with the buildings built by haters. Our mistake was thinking we could use these empty buildings for better, more moral purpose. Or just a useful purpose. What we forgot was these building were built to keep certain segments of a population down. They are inherently oppressive. Regardless of a different, newer purpose, the functions of many of these ghost buildings still oppress.

In other words, we’ve replaced legal slavery with felonies. We use the law to oppress. In the first instance, it was with the full support of the law. Now, we create second class citizens with crimes. Lots and lots of crimes. And we’ve replaced lynchings with shootings. We’re using the law to do the same thing to the same group of people. We create laws KNOWING they will have disparate effects on discrete groups. And we like that. And it’s racist.

That’s the difference between racism and prejudice. Prejudice is usually one-on-one/group of people. Racism is using the “buildings” of society, i.e., governmental offices, to oppress certain singular peoples. We’ve come a long way with prejudice. And almost nowhere with racism.

You can tell yourself racism doesn’t exist because your aren’t prejudice, but that doesn’t make it true. It just means you aren’t an asshole in your day to day dealings with people of color. But that speaks not at all on the subject of why black people are still being incarcerated at crazy rates, or killed even when unarmed by police officers. Or why black people are given incredible disparate sentences, or even why little black children are expelled from kindergarten at rates that far exceed their demographic representation or that of any other group of persons.

Racism is there. You just have to look for it. Gone are the days of “well, I’m an asshole racist bastard” so I know racism exists, to “hey, just because I’m not a racist asshole bastard doesn’t mean there’s not some shit going on that just can’t be explained away in any other way than this shit’s racist.”

Admitting that there is racism doesn’t mean you are admitting that you’re racist. Or prejudiced. It just means you are privileged enough to look for it or not look. Racism is like that tree in the woods. Just because you’re not hearing the damage it does as it falls and tramples through the woods doesn’t mean its not doing damage. Racism is real, it’s alive and it’s hurting fellow Americans.

I know most people want racism to be done and over. Slavery is a blight on our collective history. Of course, we want that shit done and gone.

So do the people who are STILL experiencing racism everyday. They really want that shit done and gone.

Manday Monday: Kilts

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I’d give you a hottie in a kilt. Yummo.

Happy Monday! Enjoy. 🙂

Don’t know who he is, but he’s smokin’.