Author Archives: D.R. Slaten

It’s Been Thirty-Five Years

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This coming Monday. It will be my 35 year wedding anniversary.

We eloped. And got married in a little blue church. And on Monday those vows will have been in existence for thirty years. It’s almost unbelievable.

It’s not all ups. There are tons of downs.

It’s about perseverance and grit.

And love.

The everyday kinda of love. The every way kind of love. It’s making love both a verb and a noun. It’s about showing up everyday. Rain or shine. Mostly in rain. Because when it’s sunny you always want to be there. It’s also finding something in showing on rainy days.

Writing about love and sex is impacted by experiences of real life. There is a joy in knowing all the nuances of an adult relationship. And being able to convey on the page to others. There is a fullness to a love interest which has developed over decades and not days or months. A rich tapestry that maybe isn’t in a shorter lived entwining.

Is there a secret to a relationships longevity? I’m not sure. I think I’m just a bitch who doesn’t like to admit defeat. About anything. Most especially about my life partner choice. Because he’s the bomb. Don’t think I’m the only one showing everyday. Nope, he does, too. And it has to be that way or it doesn’t work correctly. You can’t have just one person in a two person tango being the sole wanter of the dance’s success. You need them both to care. Deeply.

Or it could be that I supported him and he supported me. As long as you can afford it and it doesn’t go against your morals, when your partner wants something… you should just say yes. You should be the facilitator of your spouse’s ability to dream and strive and try stuff. Not the person harshing the mellow. If you can’t afford it, say no. If it’s immoral, say no. Otherwise. say yes. Why not? And why would you be anything other than totally supportive if it’s not a financial burden and it’s not a bad thing.

I don’t have huge amounts of words for detailing why we’ve made it when so many others haven’t. But we have. And if the last thirty years are any indication, I’m pretty confident if I live another thirty years, it will be with him. He just rocks like that. And we fit. But that could be because we grew up together and became adults married. Or it just could be that he has a nice ass.

Nasturtium Capers

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Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers of all kinds. If you’ve done it right, your waistline is a little bit wider and your wallet is a little bit lighter. Part of the day after should be something light, something great and something that helps cut through all the richness from the day of indulgence that Valentine’s Day represents.

Nasturtiums are the answer. Many of you probably already know that the flowers are edible. They have a sharp, peppery taste which adds a little bit of goodness to any dish. Not only do they make salads beautiful and colorful, they add a peppery layer that black peppercorns just can’t add. But did you know that you can whip those flowers up into a butter? Nasturtium butter adds a floral, pepper flavor to toast, scones and anything else slathered with this rainbow-y goodness.

But the real gems are the seeds. I’m not sure if you’re a caper lover like me, but nasturtium seeds can be turned into awesome almost capers. These have been dubbed poor man’s capers. The great thing is that nasturtiums grow abundantly. And if you’ve seeded them in the proper place, you will have flowers coming back year after year. Which means you will have nasturtium capers every year as well.

Ingredients:

2/3 cup nasturtium seed pods, cleaned
1/4 cup salt
2 cups water
2/3 cup distilled white vinegar (5% acidity at least)
1 tsp- 2 tbsp sugar

optional ingredients (pick 2 at least):
bay leaf
coriander seeds
tarragon or other fresh herbs
jalapeno
red pepper flakes
juniper berries
pickling herbs

Directions:

Divide nasturtium seeds into half pint jars. Add optional ingredients to the half pint jars. They can be different. In fact, you should try out different flavor combinations to see which you like best. Dissolve salt and sugar in the water. Add vinegar and bring to a slight simmer. Pour over seeds, seal and store. There’s a lot of mustard oil in the seeds. So they might be too strong for some people at this point. If you find that they are too much for you, an extra processing step might be needed.

If you find the seeds to be too strong even with a good vinegar brine, seperately salt brine them first. Use the salt and water to create a salt brine and soak seeds for 2-3 days in one large quart jar. Drain and rinse seeds several times and divide into pint jars. Then make the sugar/vinegar brine and pour over seeds in half pint jars- don’t add more salt at this juncture or the seeds could become too salty. At this point, add in the optional ingredients and the sugar/vinegar brine. Process either by refrigerating or hot water bath.

These will keep forever. Well, not literally forever. But a really long time. So the next time, you’ve eaten too much or partied too hard, the next day use the vinegar-y goodness of nasturtium seeds to cut through all that bulls..shtuff.

Lavender Ice Cream

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You might have figured out by now–although this is only my second post–that flowers play an important part of what I think of when I think of romance. The way they look. They way they smell. And yes, even the way they taste.

It might be odd to find a recipe featuring ice cream in November. But if you think about how heavy many of our menus are during this month, it isn’t that surprising that something that’s light and refreshing might hit the spot. When holiday meals become too much, grab your special someone and share lavender ice cream… right out of the tub.

It’s really rich, so like the best of things, small amounts go a long way. And a shared delight is just that much better.

Lavender Ice Cream

6 egg yolks
2 cups half and half 1 cup cream
2/3 cup vanilla sugar
1 vanilla bean
3 whole lavender tops or 2 tbsp dried lavender- be sure to use organic, food grade

1. Prepare a water bath in a large bowl. Set aside.

2. In a saucepan, heat half & half with the cream and the vanilla bean pod denuded of its interior until it simmers. Take off heat and add in the lavender to steep. Set aside until almost room temperature, about 45-60 minutes. When the time has lapsed, strain the mixture and bring it back up to temperature- just short of simmering again. Take off the heat. *Pro-tip: Frozen foods need more flavor for it to come through the freeze. So taste the cream mixture. It should taste fairly strong. Don’t be alarmed. Once the ice cream is fully frozen, the flavor will have mellowed out. In fact, with any flavoring that you add to ice cream or any frozen dessert, it’s best if the flavor is pretty strong prior to freezing to get the best flavor.*

3. Mix egg yolks until lighter in another bowl. Add in vanilla sugar and the scraped out insides of the vanilla bean. Mix well. Temper the eggs with some of the cream mixture until the eggs are brought up to the same temperature as the cream mixture. *tempering of the eggs is why you brought the cream back up to temperature in the last step* Pour it all into the saucepan. Heat over medium-lowish heat for about 2-3 minutes or until it coats the back of a spoon or it reaches 170 degrees.

4. Pour the mixture back through a fine mesh strainer into the egg/sugar bowl and put it all into the water bath. Bring the custard down to room temperature as quickly as possible. About 30-45 minutes. Put it into the fridge uncovered until it no longer forms condensation. Then cover and let sit in fridge for 4-6 hours or overnight.

5. Put into ice cream maker and follow the instructions for the machine.

This ice cream is particularly delightful with sugar cookies made with rose sugar or orange sugar.

Enjoy!

~D

Rose Sugar

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Romance and Roses go hand in hand. To make some fabulous rose sugar, it takes almost zero time and only a little advanced planning.

Glass container, sealable to be airtight
White sugar
Rose petals, organic and pesticide free

I didn’t include any measurements because the volume of sugar will vary depending on the size of the container used. Add some sugar, layer in some petals, add more sugar, and repeat until filled.

Keep the sugar closed for at least two weeks. This gives the oils in the roses time to infuse all the sugar.

This sugar can be used in baking delicate treats, like scones. It can also be used to make simple syrup. And simple syrup can be used in a variety of ways, limited only by your imagination.

Migrating Some Stuff Over

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In the upcoming months, I am migrating my writings on another blog over to my blog. I want to keep my content as mine.

If you feel like you are experiencing Deja Vu, you are. Or it could be a glitch in the Matrix and you are living in a real life simulation where we are live action role playing so that Aliens can eat our energy. Or our planet’s energy. Or whatever that reason is that is the foundation of these types of stories.

I will try to add in new content as well. Especially with my installment piece.

Enjoy!

~D

Check your Ta-Tas

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pink ribbons on pink surface

I know it’s the end of the October… almost. I know that it’s been awhile since I posted… but still, check your ta-tas. It’s that time of the year; it’s that time in this month. 2016 will live as a year in infamy for me. I hope that you check your ta-tas and that 2020 isn NOT a year that lives forever in your memory.

I had a scare this month. I normally get my boobs checked in August. Which is the month that I received my cancer diagnosis. But for various reasons–Covid–well that just didn’t happen. Instead, I got it this month, of all months.

And I noticed a small spot of skin change about six months ago. I decided to keep watch, in case it was just radiation damage. But about three weeks before my mammogram of my old boob was scheduled, I felt a hard lump under the spot with the skin change. Well, two things make alarm bells go off in my head. So, I asked them to check it out as well. Thank goodness my gynecologist had included additional ultrasounds and biopsies and stuff on her order. Because it allowed the radiologist to check that spot, mammogram my DIEP boob, and do an ultrasound guided biopsy. All this with just a few days. Which is AWESOME-SAUCE.

Don’t be afraid to point stuff out. Don’t be afraid to be the squeaky wheel. You might be a pain in the ass. But you will be a pain in the ass who is ALIVE.

My biopsy came back negative.

It is my wish that this is your outcome as well. But it can’t be if you don’t schedule and attend to your own ta-tas.

MY POV on RWA | Fall Into The Story

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Nora Roberts coming down on the side of righteousness.

 

Source: MY POV on RWA | Fall Into The Story

On implicit bias and white privilege — Rosalie Stanton

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More RWA mess

 

Source: On implicit bias and white privilege — Rosalie Stanton

The Implosion of the RWA — Claire Ryan

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Source: The Implosion of the RWA — Claire Ryan

A Piece of the RWA Puzzle | Kink Praxis

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More RWA shenanigans

 

Source: A Piece of the RWA Puzzle | Kink Praxis