Tag Archives: musings

Enough with the Hating

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I was informed that m/f sex in m/m books was offensive, disrespectful, yada, yada, yada. And all I have to say is Fuck You JesseWave.

Read what you want. Write what you want. Review what you want. But don’t couch your misogyny in terms of choice and needing warnings that a vagina is about to be used for sex. Warnings on books should be and traditionally has been about rape, incest, excess violence and the like. Not about vaginas being fucked. Ain’t nothing disrespectful about vaginas being used for their intended purpose. Not at all.

And trying to play off your vagina hating rant as anything but HATING is a lie. Don’t want to play in my sandbox? Fine. Don’t want me to play in your sandbox? Fine. But don’t call me, the toys I bring to the sandbox or anything about me names. Derogatory names and tell me I’m being disrespectful. Apologizing for calling my vagina and vaginas around the world as being cootie filled is full of hate. Cause you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. Now I know how you really feel about vaginas.

And I don’t normally write m/m stuff. I do write menage stuff. I read a whole lot of shit though.

This whole issue pisses me off.

Not long ago, just WRITING about m/m romances and sex could get you tarred and feathered. So the m/f community excluded it from ALL writing and pairings regardless of the reality of the situation. Then someone got a clue, smacked the shit out of the m/f community with a two-by-four of common sense, and viola, we get some m/m action. Then m/m took the fuck off. Which I applaud. Seriously. Love having some diversity in my ability to read some different stuff. But now, to be told that women writers of m/m are clueless and/or having women having sex in m/m stories is denigrating in some fashion pisses me the fuck off.

Don’t we have enough hang ups about fucking in this society without the m/m community- which, by the way, should be MORE tolerant, having hang ups about some people having sex. I don’t have girl cooties. None of my gay friends have fag cooties. None of my multi-gendered friends have freak cooties. I don’t care who’s catching or pitching. Nor do I care what instrument they are using. What I care about is the derogatory terms with which they are being described.

Fuck you. It is hard enough in this puritanical society to be free to express ourselves sexually. To be labeled as having girl cooties makes me feel about the same as being referenced as a breeder. I won’t stand for it in RL. I won’t stand for it in my writerly life. Just like I wouldn’t stand for nasty shit being said about others who have sex not in conformance with the “norm.”

It is beyond time to have m/m sex portrayed in mainstream fiction of all genres. Just as it is beyond time to have m/f sex portrayed in m/m fiction of all genres. M/m should be leading the way, not crying that there are vaginas in the m/m world. No m/m couple lives in a vacuum. Surprisingly, there are lots of vaginas in the world- yes, even in the m/m world. And sometimes, they even get used.

I don’t write off-scene sex often. So if the peeps in my books are fucking, you’re seeing it. I’m sure there are authors that write off-scene sex. I’m sure there are authors that write explicit sex scenes. I bet the heat level has nothing to do with sexual orientation or preference. It’s just the way they write about sex in their books.

So here’s your fucking warning: People in my books like to fuck. Some have dicks. Some have pussies.

That is all.

Random Thoughts Part 7

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SCOTUS sketch : last day of 2012 term (Art Lien)

 

The Supreme Court of the United States has always been a fickle bitch. Or at least their opinions have. This past week has been no exceptions. On the one hand, they ruled legislation regarding gay marriage vis-a-vis DOMA okay. Which makes all of us cheer. Well, not those that think homosexuality is bad, bad, bad. And marriage between one man and one woman evil and contrary to the bible- notwithstanding biblical marriages of more than one person, sexual congress with handmaidens of the wives, bedwarmers, etc. And on the other hand, struck down legislation designed to keep voting districts from unnecessarily preventing minorities be represented at the state and federal levels. Which is weird since we still have racism and one of the primary ways to perpetuate institutional racism is vis-a-vis voting and elected officials. People in power tend to want to stay in power and draw districting lines in a manner to prevent minority votes from being a majority in many areas. The thing is both these issues sprung from legislation. And on the one hand, SCOTUS said legislation was okay and proper, then on the other hand said legislation wasn’t okay and wasn’t proper. So they used Congresses ability to make legislation to uphold one law and then said in the other case it wasn’t okay for Congress to make legislation. Strange. Bizarre. And totally at odds with what happened in both cases. You can’t have it both ways. Either Congress can legislate shit or they can’t.

 

As more time passes, more plagiarist are being ferreted out. Seriously? WTF? Teresa Mummert has a whole diagram to show how one person has plagiarized several books under various names and through various social media outlets has been promoting those sames books and/or leaving positive reviews for their alter-ego characters. Either this person grew up in a con- running family or has serious split personality disorder. Maybe both. So many books being ripped off. Get a clue. The internet which allows this to occur so easily also helps to find these stupid bastards just as easily. In the time it took for this person to set up social media accounts, upload books, leave reviews, etc., they could’ve written a book and sold it. Like an original one. But my view of plagiarist still stands. Plagiarist plagiarize because they are lazy, stupid and weak. The lights are on but nobody’s home. You can’t wash off stupid. And BTW, what this person did wasn’t smart or showed intelligence, it showed cunning. Cunning is sooooo not the same as intelligence or having an original thought. It is something vastly different. Vastly.

 

Wendy Davis as the nation watched on.

 

Watching Wendy Davis’s  filibuster in Texas against a bill which would severely curtail a woman’s right to abortion made me a little happy this week. Not only did the bill not get a chance to be voted on, it showed me again why I like democracy.  Seriously. Then the Republicans tried to lie and alter the record. But, internet is a truth seekers friend. Within moments, the real record had been screen captured and put up showing the slicky boy moves of the Republicans. Which just goes to show, ain’t nothing cheaters won’t do to cheat.  I don’t care if you are pro choice or pro life, you need to allow the most inclusive legislation so that people, especially the ones who don’t hold the same views as those in power, can express their beliefs and not be stifled. And abortion is just such an area which lends itself to this philosophy. Just because you are Christian and believe abortion is wrong doesn’t mean you get to shove that viewpoint down others’ throats. That would be like a Hindu making you not be able to kill your beef cows because they are sacred and forcing that provision into law. Or – insert religion here, forcing Jewish people or Shintoist or, or, or…to- insert a act which is vile and oppressive to Jews, Shintoist, etc. etc. etc.,  here. And then do this again for every religion under the sun. Seriously, stop the madness. Not every body believes in the same religious things as you. Make it so you have a choice to follow your beliefs as well as them having a choice to follow their beliefs. This course of action is LOGICAL. Really it is.

Conventional wisdom says I shouldn’t post controversial political views in my blog. Kiss my ass. My blog. My opinions. My voice. We don’t have to share the same beliefs. We just have to respect that we can each have ’em. No matter what. DIVERSITY- try it.

That is all.

Some Days I Suck as a Writer

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I reread what I’ve written and the fear that I suck overwhelms me. I think it’s natural. Sometimes, I just think maybe I should throw the towel in and quite while I’m ahead. Other days, I feel like I have stories that people want to read but my mechanics are atrocious and I should just stop already.

I’m not sure if all writers are plagued with doubt. I think so. But I don’t know for sure. There might be a writer out there that thinks all their words are gold and they shit roses. I dunno. Most days, I feel okay about my writing. Most days, I feel like even though my mechanics suck, I have enough talent to at least tell a decent tale. But every once in a while, I get a day that makes me want to cry, scream and nash my teeth. Because on those days, I just KNOW I suck as a writer.

But I seem to be a hard headed bitch. I plow through ANYWAY. I used to have periodic bouts of uncertainty in my before life as well. It diminished over time. But it still caught me. I mean, throwing up before every opening statement after a decade and a half was a pretty sure sign of some anxiety, no? I don’t have opening statements anymore. So my insecurity comes out in other ways. It comes out in me reading what I wrote and wanting to delete the whole frickin’ mess. But I don’t.

I got into a car accident when I was 16. I was pissed, scared and hyped. When it came time to go to sleep, I couldn’t sleep. The accident kept playing over and over in my mind. I went to my dad. He told me to stop thinking about it. Everyone walked away unscathed from the accident so no permanent damage had been done. Well, except to the cars but they could be fixed. But then he gave me a bit of advice that I use in lots of areas in my life. He told me to go to sleep and that everything looked better after a night of rest. That morning brought new perspective. So I shut down my mind and went to sleep. And when I woke up the next day, I did feel better. Not that it undid the accident, but that the accident wasn’t looming so large in my mind. I was able to get a handle on things. And he was right, not that everything looked rosy, but it didn’t look as bleak as it did the night before.

So when I am the most sure I suck as a writer, I shut down Word and putter around until I can get to sleep. Cause I know when I wake up, even if my writing stills sucks, I can find a new perspective and it wouldn’t look so bleak. Sleeping on it doesn’t make me any less of a sucky writer. What is does is allow me to make that suckiness not loom so large in my mind. I get a handle on it. Mostly. Well, until the next time I’m sure I’m a sucky writer.

Plagiarism

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So there was a big brouhaha this past weekend when Lorelei James found out that @AlisonGilmore had ripped off her entire book and put it up as her fanfic and then to a blog. AlisonGilmore claimed she was writing the book chapter by chapter. She wasn’t. She was and is a thief of the highest order. She ripped off someone else’s work and claimed it as her own. There was a huge internet smack down. HUGE. Like by several people all getting into the act and it brought her blog pages down and she ended up shutting off her twitter account. She now has a new twitter account and has made it private. Only the internet isn’t “private.” Not at all. The internet is very public and is forever.

Limecello posted a blog about the internet takedown.  As did Rilzy on her blog. They both have several pictures of the images capturing the twitter logs and the blog and the subsequent takedown. They have a, forever on the internet for all time and for anyone to see and read,  blog entry about the blatant plagiarism AlisonGilmore engaged in when she ripped off Lorelei’s book. The book was ALL JACKED UP.

Plagiarist aren’t new. They are the necessary evil when you are an award winning author. Only the internet makes it so much easier to find them and ferret them out. Like ridiculously easy. Almost as easy as it makes for someone to do the ripping off. So the internet is both a sword and a shield. It cuts and protects all at the same time.

What it can’t do is make stupid people smarter. Or people who can’t write, write. And that’s what it boils down to. Plagiarist are inherently lazy, stupid and weak. No talent is involved when you steal someone’s ideas and storylines. Word for frickin’ word.

AlisonGilmore sent a tweet that said in effect- writing romance, erotic romance and erotica is for talentless dweebs. I won’t go into why writing GOOD smex is hard- almost as hard as writing comedy. But what I will go into is my response to AlisonGilmore’s talentless dweeb comments. My tweet is below. I bolded what I wrote in response to her tweet. What I wrote is true. And it was a kick-ass response to her assertions.

 

D.R. Slaten ‏@DRSlaten 14 Jun

Plagiarism is for people who can’t think. @laurahunsaker @megantgrimm @loreleijames smut is for people who can’t write.

Random Thoughts Part 6

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Why is it when you have guests in your home, your home doesn’t feel like your home anymore? It feels like you are the one on vacation and you’re in a strange location. Don’t get me wrong, I like having guests. It brings out the whole hostess in me thing. But the invasion of my home feels odd. It really feels like I am in another location if the people in my house are staying longer than an evening. Weird, right? Even weirder is that I WANT them to come and visit. But then I want them to LEAVE. It is a serious issue. A condition for which I have no cure. Damn it. I am a walking contradiction. lol

I don’t like the whole hurry up and wait thing we have going on in various parts of our lives. We speed on the roads only to have to come to an abrupt stop for traffic or lights or something. We hurry up to get to an arena for viewing- concerts, lectures, shows, etc., only to have to wait until it comes on. And then it is usually late. But we hurried to get there. Hurried to get seats. And in some cases, hurried to buy the damn tickets in the first place. We hurry to doctor’s appointments, dentist’s appointments, hair appointments, only to have to wait. Some of it is on us. We want to be first, on time, whatever. But some of it is just shitty traffic engineering. Bad light timing. Or shitty venue timing. Or just plain shitty doctors, dentists, hairdressers, etc. And don’t get me started on the hurry up and wait that goes on in airports when- god forbid, you have to fly somewhere. Jaysus.

When did it become okay to be misogynistic tools? Has the anonymity of the internet made the haters hate harder? I don’t think so. It as just allowed the cowardly bastard to express their hate using a wall to hide behind. Cowardly fucktards. Dude, if you are so sure of what you’re saying, so proud of who you are- BE YOU. Without hiding. Without shame. Without the sad stupid ass barrier of anonymity that internet use affords you. Because it also affords you the CHOICE of being all in by being ALL THE WAY OUT. Anything less is the pussification of your views and viewpoints. Stop being juvenile. If you can’t say it with your identity known by all and asundry, then you don’t have worthwhile viewpoints. At ALL. And just so we are clear, even if you do come out in the open with your vitriolic hate messages- against women, minorities, the moon in retrograde, it doesn’t mean you are any less of a fucktard. It just means you aren’t a hide behind the anonymity of the internet kinda of fucktard. Unfortunately, for you, your fucktardness isn’t something you change. Like losing weight, getting hair plugs, going under the knife to change your visage. No, your fucktardness is way past skin deep all the way into the marrow of your bones. For you, you will languish in the land of fucktardary until you draw your last breath. Yes, you asshat who belongs to the sfwa… this message is specifically about you and generally about all asshats.

Stop using your social media to turn yourself into spammers. You could be interesting. You could have sparking conversation, witty dialogue and kick ass discourse. I will never know because I unfollowed your ass, blocked your access and created a spam filter just for you. Cause that shit is just annoying. Seriously. STOP THAT SHIT. A shout out occasionally to promo your shit is cool. I get that. I do that. But if every tweet, every FB comment, every email is about your product- no matter what that product is, then you ARE A SPAMMER. A hated, reviled member of our electronic interaction community. You have just made yourself the red-headed stepchild.

That is all.

 

Men Should Read Erotic Romance

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Normally I post random thoughts on Friday. But this Friday, my random though deserved a separate post. Men should read Erotica and Erotic Romance. They should do this for a number of reasons. Here’s a perfect illustration why.

*I used to be in a book club. It was a chick lit book club. But we had a dude in it. And he’s the one that turned me on to erotic romances. He told me he read them because his wife appreciated it.*

So guys, read erotic romances. Your women will appreciate it. Really they will.

First, read it because it’ll help you get into the mind of a woman. Now I’m not telling you to use lines from the things you read. But if your at a loss for what a woman wants in a particular situation, use the readings as guide posts. If your feeling at a loss because your brain is from Mars and her brain is from Venus, women writing men characters can give you a glimpse into the wants of how women might want you to respond. This isn’t rocket science dudes. And even if you don’t think any real life dudes would behave the way males behave in romances, still it’s like an outline for how she wants you to behave. Get as close as you can while still being authentic.

Second, read and reread the sex scenes. Seriously. Reading explicit erotic romance can make you a better lover. Trust me on this, you want to be a better lover. After many martinis and lots of heart-to-heart girl talks, LOTS of men need to do better. If you don’t think this is about you, it is. Your girl just won’t tell you. I will. Read some frickin’ books. Learn some new techniques. Figure this shit out cause YOU really need to. Really. I can’t stress this enough. Can’t. Stress. This. ENOUGH. This post is about you. Seriously.

If you’ve ever wondered what women want or the woman you are with can’t verbalize what she wants, read some frickin’ books and try out a variety of the things being written in those books. It’s a pretty sure bet, at some point, you are going to hit upon what your woman wants. If you’ve gotten into a rut or you don’t think your current technique is all that, don’t read dude publications to fix things. You want to read women’s writings, thought and wants. I mean it is women you are sleeping with. Who better to give you pointers on how to be a better lover than women? Ummm, no one.

Third, even if you’re not in a rut or your woman thinks you sex it up fine, it’ll still expand your mind. You’ll get ideas. And they are kind of fun to read. It’s not called mommy porn (a term I loathe but fits here) for nothing. Even though most dudes are visual, there’s only so much shitty porn on TV you can watch before you’ve seen just about everything. Reading erotica and erotic romance will help broaden your horizons and you can visualize as you read. It totally engages your imagination. See it’s a new avenue to get your stranger sex fix.

So there are a lot of reasons guys should read Erotic Romance and Erotica. For them and for their partners. Of the three reasons above, I find one of them to be the most relevant to me. But I hope I given some dudes some things to think about because all of the reasons are relevant to guys.

Random Thoughts Part 5

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Haven’t had any random thoughts for a while. Been too busy. But I had some today.

Why do cable people make you wait all day for them to show up? Why can’t they just tell you it will be at such and such time? Or about such and such time so you can get other shit done? I think it is a power play. I know some people will say it is because they don’t know when one job is finished and they can’t get to the next job until the one before it is done. But seriously? I just don’t get… they will be there sometime tomorrow. Really? If I didn’t need my router so badly, I would be all like… maybe I will be home sometime  tomorrow. Arghhhh!

Every time we have a tragedy, everyone puts that they’re praying for the victims of the tragedy. Seriously? Did you not get the joke about the lottery ticket and the woman with kids who are starving and about to be kicked out their house? She just kept praying. Finally god told her she needed to help him help her and get off her ass and buy a lottery ticket or something so he’d have something to work with. Same goes here. Jaysus. Praying is all good and well for the non victims. But you know what they need more than prayer? Donations. Of money, of supplies, etc. Praying make the non victim PRAYOR feel good but doesn’t do bumpkiss for the victims. So donate and then pray. Or pray and then donate. Or just donate. Make the donation your prayer. Sheesh. Do I have to spell it out already?

I don’t understand the whole fanfic thing. Why write something not original? Why not read something original? Is it because you are jonesing before the next book the series is out? Or the series is over and you didn’t get enough? Seriously, don’t get it. Daydream about your favs like the rest of us. Don’t be all ripping it off. And if you do, don’t be looking to make a buck off it. The idea isn’t yours. Do all that hard work, turn over all the $$ to the original creator/author/licensee or come up with your own original idea. It’s as simple as that. If that were the rule, we wouldn’t be having Amazon Worlds and the like. I am just blown away. We obviously need one of Bill Maher’s new rules here.

Cool Places on the Interwebz

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When I first wake up on a Saturday morning, I have the house to myself. It is bliss. Quiet, peaceful and devoid of distractions. It’s almost like a scene out of a movie. You know, where the film makers pan to the breaking dawn, glorious waves or something else that symbolizes how wonderful a quiet, beautiful day can start.

Then, the rest of my household awakens and chaos reigns for the rest of the day. Taking my zen with it.

So, instead of trying to get words on a page, I cruise the internet. I have some go to sites.

Steep and Cheap and Woot are the first places I look. Hey, I like to shop and I like bargains. What can I say?

Then I check out writer websites. First up is the Grinder to check dates on the manuscripts I’ve submitted. Savvy Author is next to see if there are any interesting announcements, upcoming pitch contests and seminars that sound good. I keep a window to Absolute Write Water Cooler open pretty much all day. It’s an awesome community of peeps who write, edit and publish.

I also have other areas of the internet that interest me. Like Mark’s Daily Apple. It’s a primal living site and Mark talks about all things primal. From clothes to food to exercises. It’s cool and informative. Another gem, a jewel really, is Dr. Davis’s website and blog called Track your Plaque. If you or someone you love is serious about heart health, or needs more information on how to reverse, or at least stop the progression of heart disease, Dr. Davis’s blog is a must see. MUST. SEE.

At some in the future, I will list more blogs, sites and interesting places to visit on the interwebz. But for now, this is it. Enjoy.

Shut the Fuck Up

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So I was on twitter the other day, yeah, I was on twitter. So sue me. And a published author is ragging on self-pubbed authors that can’t afford to get professional editing before self-pubbing. The thought was that the self-pubbed author shouldn’t publish if she can’t afford an editor. To which I say, Shut the Fuck Up. You bigoted bigotty bitch.

See, not everyone has an agent. And not everyone has a publisher. And not everyone has money. But those very same people have good story ideas. Which do I want more? A good story with some shitty editing or a shitty story pumped out by flashy editors and publishers? Take a wild guess. Good stories win every goddamn time. Can’t tell you how many books suck big fat donkey dicks coming out of the Big 5 publishing houses all polished up and pretty. No amount of spit shine can put a good spin on a shitty story. A old boring-assed safe story.

Don’t think that I think all stories coming from the Big 5 are shitty. They are not. But neither are all stories coming from self-pubbed authors all shitty. They don’t have the money or the connections to get their first stories edited. Maybe if they make something on their self-pubbed work, they’ll be able to afford an editor. My fingers are crossed. Cause some of the worst edited works I have read in the last year come from self-pubbed authors with good stories and shitty connections. And some of the shittiest stories I have read in the last year come from well-connected highly edited authors with money.

But the elitest asshole, who said the shitty edited self-pubbed authors should take their stories and go home, needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. We don’t tell bands not to cut shitty demo records cause they can’t afford better equipment or a decent recording studio. We make allowances for them. We don’t tell artists they should work in expensive mediums cause otherwise their art isn’t good enough. We make allowances for them. Why is it so hard to understand that a writer, just starting out, self-pubbing their work, might not be able to afford all the bells and whistles that a more connected writer can? Where is the allowance for them?

So that’s my rant. It’s hard enough to put yourself and your work out there for public consumption. But when we get assholes who talk about you to your face or behind your back, well, something is not right in Whoville, yeah? And it makes it hard for an insecure artist, musician, writer to want to put themselves out there. Our world is poorer place for it. Way poorer.

Random Thoughts Part 4

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Friday rolls around and my brain is fried, fried, fried. So once again, I am falling back on short random thoughts.

I really have serious questions about products in our society. I live in a new house. All the stuff in it is new. My air conditioner is new or was when I bought the house. I found out this week that it needs to be repaired. Already. Seriously? At only two years old, my air conditioning unit needs a $2000 repair? WTF? Does nothing last? Is nothing made to be durable? At some point the word durable will vanish from the English language much like durable goods. Everything is just disposable. But for some reason, I thought air conditioning units should last longer than two years. I don’t know why. I just did. And guess what else, the warranty is out as well. So the entire cost is mine. How’s that for a reality check? Look, I just think that some things should be built to last. You know, pride in the crap we make and all that. But apparently I am alone in this belief. Air conditioning makers have gone the way of light bulb manufacturers. And the instructions should read change after 60,000 hours of use.

Did you know Twitter can be addictive? It can also be annoying. See, it is addictive because I like having real time knowledge of the tidbits going on in the lives of people I know. It is annoying because so many people and companies use it as an advertising platform. Now, I don’t mind a shout out once in a while about some shit you want people to know about. But the constant bombardment of adverts is really frickin’ annoying. Stop it. I go and look at some of these constant advert peeps and they have a bazillion followers. I don’t know why. See I am going to their page to unfollow them because they have gotten on my last nerve. I am befuddled as to why more people don’t unfollow. Then maybe they would get the message. Stop the insanity. lol

So I found out what happened to my neighbor. A dude in a car that was a eduction coordinator for a local church got a case of road rage, followed him to the Best Buy parking lot and beat him up. Unbeknownst to my neighbor,  dude caused a concussion or some other head injury, a severe one and my neighbor died later that week after being in the hospital going in and out of consciousness. He slipped into a coma and died. He was 62. My neighbor was a really great guy. Funny, nice, neighborly. Now he’s dead cause some dude got pissed at a driving maneuver. Seriously? If I got mad at everyone that drove like an idiot, I would be pissed all day long. All day long. Here’s a tip for you, if you’re pissed at a driving stunt, go take a class on anger management or do what I do. Make up stories about why so and so is driving like an idiot. Here is an example. I saw a youngish woman driving like she was a bat out of hell. Cut me off crossing back into my lane after weaving in and out of traffic. So I told myself that she had smelly green crap oozing out of her crotch and needed to get to the gynecologist STAT. It made me smile, be more understanding and less angry. I didn’t follow her to a parking lot, beat the shit out of her and end up killing her. See, church dude is going to jail. Probably for manslaughter, perhaps for felony assault. Now two families will be without their dad. Only one of them will never come back. And when the other does, he will be branded a murderer. Sadness for both families all the way around. Smelly green oozing stuff would have been so much better. Local story in paper.

That is all.